All Roads Lead to Dolly Parton
Remembering Doug Sheehan
Exactly thirty years ago, I met Dolly Parton in Hollywood. Gail Berman (thank you Gail!) had called and asked if I was interested in being a writer on Heavens to Betsy, a show that Dolly had conceived and put on its feet. At the time, I had no idea that Dolly would go on to create The Imagination Library and become the leading advocate of childhood literacy in the world today. I was a huge Dolly fan- she was a mountain girl on a mission, which included world domination. So, it wasn’t surprising when she took her experience in local television and turned it into a glorious career in Hollywood. Dolly was and is, as they say, the real deal.
Dolly’s keen eye for talent extended beyond the music world. She assembled a world class group of actors for Heavens to Betsy. The cast included the great talents: Boyd Gaines, Connie Shulman, Constance Ray and Doug Sheehan.
Doug Sheehan arrived in Florida (we shot the show in Disney World) with his beautiful wife, Cate. I have wonderful memories of them, and after recently becoming engaged, couldn’t get enough of their happy marriage. The Sheehans gave me hope, and I found out later, I wasn’t the only one! I observed their glorious marriage, where love wasn’t just a feeling, but an action. Cate was there for Doug, and I could see that their number one goal was to have fun together. They brought that fun to the cast. I remember a pot-luck dinner at the actor’s apartment house where Doug told stories, (he starred in Knots Landing and General Hospital for starters). The stories were funny but never mean. Doug was a wonderful guy, his passing is a huge loss to all of us who loved his huge talent and the man himself. Doug passed away June 29, 2024.
In Doug’s honor, I am sharing the Ten Life Lessons I Learned from Dolly Parton. Dolly has been a steadfast supporter of my work through the years, and I am one of thousands. Little did she know that it was her work ethic and dreamscape that fed my own. I am forever grateful to her- she brought beautiful friendships, including one with the great Connie Shulman into my life. I would have never met Doug and Cate if it weren’t for Dolly. The great artists make life better and give you a view of the world that you might never experience had they not shared their gifts. There is no way to properly thank Dolly for all she has done and continues to do. Dolly Parton means the world to me, and here are few reasons why!
The 10 life lessons I learned from Dolly Parton
1) Love your work. It’s a love affair that lasts your whole life long.
Dolly describes herself as “The Little Engine that Did,” a variation on the title of her favorite childhood book, The Little Engine that Could. Dolly blew past could by the time she was 9 years old. She welcomes inspiration and finds it flowing in ordinary moments. Her conversation is peppered with, “That’s a song” or “That’s a song waiting to happen.”
She is never far from her original impulse to write the best song she can using the emotions she is experiencing in a particular moment. Dolly’s songs are timeless, they are as relevant today as they were when she first wrote them. Treat yourself to Dolly Parton, Songteller: My Life in Lyrics, written by Dolly Parton with Robert K. Oermann.
It’s a bestselling, doorstopper compilation of her songs with photographs and the stories and people behind the songs. You must have it in your home on the coffee table. Open it to any page, read a little Dolly wisdom and your spirit will automatically soar.
2) Own the game.
Dolly Parton is the smartest person in the room. She has a keen intellect from a lifetime of reading books and people. She is curious and interested in the world around her. If all mountain girls have a sixth sense, Dolly has nine. She can read a room. When something doesn’t go her way, she pivots.
Dolly doesn’t complain or carp about what she didn’t get because she is too busy creating. She is relentless and passionate about her ideas. She owns the game because she sets her own rules. She doesn’t miss a trick because she invented the trick.
Dolly might be the star, creator, writer and visionary, but she is also the most serious entrepreneur I have ever met. She works with people that get her. She is a glorious collaborator. She honors her ideas until she can bring them to fruition.
It might take a little time, and it might take some tweaking, but she will get there. She will see her idea through until it is realized on the page or the stage. You can watch Christmas on the Square on Netflix and see how she makes a classic holiday narrative relevant in the world we live in, without giving up the showmanship and fun. (Debbie Allen directed, a perfect pairing.)
3) Stay in the game to win it.
Dolly does not take her foot off the gas. She doesn’t give up. A good idea she had at age 10 for a movie, play or song is still a good idea, so why not pursue it? She has a book idea. Who would be the right person to call? How about James Patterson? He will pick up. Soon, they’re collaborating on the idea. When her career takes a turn in the late 1970s, she seeks advice.
The great Mac Davis recommends Sandy Gallin to manage Dolly’s career. Dolly trusts Mac and follows up. Her collaboration with Sandy Gallin changes the course of her career, which leads her into movies.
Dolly is not afraid to shake things up, to change course, to boldly go in a new direction. An artist has to be open to everything from the deepest pain to the highest dream and everything in between. Dolly persists.
4) Don’t just give back, give it all you’ve got.
Dolly’s theme park, resort and spa are not called Dolly could, or Dolly should, but Dollywood. Dolly is the dream factory, the amusement park, the soundstage and the recording studio. She is also the sizzle, the parade and the fireworks display. Dollywood is her vision. If you ask folks in the Great Smokies about Dolly, they promise you she’s an angel. If that’s true, she’s an angel with wings on turbo.
She employs hundreds of folks where she was raised. They needed the jobs and the dignity that comes from work, but they also needed the fun and the self-reliance that comes from working for a good boss. So, Dolly didn’t go Hollywood, she went Dollywood.
She is generous because giving back is the linchpin of her values. Three examples among hundreds of her largesse: When Gatlinburg, Tenn., burned and folks lost their homes, she helped them rebuild. She gave a million dollars to develop the COVID-19 vaccine. And don’t get me started on The Imagination Library, see No. 9 below.
5) Stay hungry.
There was a time when Dolly felt she needed to realign her life, so she returned to her roots, to the home she was raised in. There’s a biblical basis for the exercise. We return to the cave in solitude in order to hear the voice of God. Dolly came out of the period of fasting and prayer having restored her faith.
She also had written a mountain of new songs about the process and her brand-new point of view. Dolly has problems from time to time as we all do, but you don’t hear her complain. She looks up.
Dolly lives her faith, but I have never heard her impose her beliefs on anyone. In fact, she is private about what is sacred, and instead of proselytizing, she lives it, which makes those around her curious to seek that kind of particular serenity, too. Dolly is a true believer.
“If I can hold God’s attention, I can hold the world’s.”
-Dolly Parton6) Stay married.
I’ve never met Carl Dean, but I know he’s a good man because Dolly loves him. The first bit of advice I ever received in Hollywood was to never get a divorce. “Half of a whole is just half,” the attorney said.
If you ask yourself, What would Dolly do?, you will find yourself married for 50 years to a good man. (From the photographs in Songteller, you will see that he’s also gorgeous, and dear reader, that don’t hurt.)
7) Look the part.
There is no doubt whenever you see Dolly that she’s in show business. She revels in the creative aspects of her stage persona. Dolly has a ball with hair, makeup, costumes, wigs, shoes and jewelry.
Her style is her own. She is equal parts Mata Hari, Salome, Mae West and Tinkerbell. That kind of self-confidence makes her a trendsetter, instead of a follower.
8) Mind your manners.
Dolly has the best manners. She was always kind. I never heard her raise her voice at work. Her largesse is legendary. One day the doorbell rang at my rental down in Florida. There was an exercise bike sitting outside the front door. Other times, there would be bath salts or candy or magazines.
When the project ended, she called and said, “Thank you, I wish I could keep you on, because I think you’re just great.” I played the answering machine for anyone who would listen, including the UPS man and my landlord.
Every star knows how to make an entrance, but the superstar also knows how to make a gracious exit. Dolly taught me that the goodbye should be as elegant and warm as the hello.
9) All children are your children.
Dolly is the best mother I know because she cares about every child, not just the ones related to her, though she loves them, too. It is a known fact that a child who is read to every night has a better chance of having a successful life than a child who is not read a bedtime story.
Dolly’s mother read to her children. Her father could not read or write, but it was his encouragement that gave her the inspiration to create The Imagination Library. As soon as Dolly had enough resources to build the program, her mother’s ritual became the core objective while her father’s dream became the scaffolding.
The Imagination Library sends a book a month to a child in a participating community from birth to age 5. She partners with the communities, so they feel empowered, too.
Dolly knew that owning one book, never mind 12 a year, was a luxury for families who could not afford them, but she believed children would benefit immeasurably by growing up in a home where books were available and reading was celebrated.
Dolly knows that the first five years of a child’s life are the most important ones in their development. The parents take care of the love, while Dolly feeds their imaginations with great books.
10) Get above your raising.
The old Appalachian saying goes: Don’t get above your raising. Mountain folk are humble. No matter your gifts, the expectation was that you must be grateful for them because you’re blessed. No grandstanding. No bragging allowed.
Sometimes that little phrase also meant: Keep your ego in check. Don’t aim too high. Don’t dream too big. Dolly had a way of getting above her raising by taking us with her. She taught us to take charge of our stories by example.
She is proud of where she came from, which instilled a residual pride in us. No one has written of the glory of the Blue Ridge Mountains, the great Smoky Mountains, Appalachia and its people like Dolly Parton.
Her legacy is, in great measure, her love of home.
The ability to be a loyal friend is the hallmark of girls raised in the South by good parents like Avie and Robert Lee Parton. Dolly Parton is grateful. She holds her family, friends and fans like precious gems, which, at the end of the story, makes her the treasure.